Government sniper will kill whoever dares to leave this bar. Armed standoff in Uslaxa, California. I already watched at least ten of my closest friends blown straight to hell after stepping outside this bar. Government helicopter is foodlogging my best friends on national TV. We’re drawing the faces of the deceased on napkins and pinning them up on the wall behind the booths. We’ll be right back. Unable to clear us from our hole, they divert a plane full of 450 sleeping passengers straight into our location at maximum speed, melting every steel object in the vicinity on impact.